I find the following quote to be true in counseling with most people. We tend to look at the fruit of sin and try to address it, rather than the heart which is the spring from which outward sins come:
"The fatal mistake is to think of sin always in terms of acts and of actions rather than in terms of nature, and of disposition. The mistake is to think of it in terms of particular things instead of thinking of it, as we should, in terms of our relationship to God."
-Lloyd-Jones, D. M. God's Way of Reconciliation - An Exposition of Ephesians 2
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Amen brother! This is so key for helping others and for helping ourselves in dealing with sin.
Confession must happen at a heart level. If we confess merely the action then we will only be dealing with the fruit. The root and source of the sin remains untouched. If we are to really deal with our sin we must get to the heart of the sin, the root of the sin, and confess that, repent of that, and turn from it at that level.
So often we are content to focus merely on the actions and consequences of our sinful hearts all the while leaving the source and fountain untouched; and we wonder why we remain unchanged.
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